Letter 30

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9/9/17

I am spending days of death in Here. Each day I desire for my family. Each day I need someone to hug me. Each day I wake up to darkness. Each day I am unable to smile. Each day I am looking forward to seeing you. Each day I can’t stand anyone’s side. Each day I am getting closer to be insane. Each day I am waiting for someone to talk nicely. Each day I am going deep in the abyss of unknown darkness and light at once. Each day I am taking the ill-treatment. Each day I want to end everything for nothing.

I am unable to do anything. Give me a ray of comfort to uncomforting then I will show the world a way of understanding. Tell me I am not dead. Tell me I am not even alive. Give me numbness to go through this phase. I have no stability and I am content with it. I just want someone to believe me. I want to go home. I need to be out of Here. I have so much work to do in the name of us.

There is something keeping me suffer. I don’t care what it is but I need someone. I need that person to be sane. No doubt I love you, dear. But will this love set me free? My pain is setting me free and pushing me towards the world I don’t want to stay. I am in Here. Call me! Reach out to me!

Those voices are back. They are telling me to do and ask such things, which lead to the pain of known pain. I am not going to suffer. I will be out soon or maybe tomorrow. I am waiting. I have patience. My family will come.

My tears need someone. I pray to the power to let me out tomorrow. I will do as ask by the unknown. Just let me out of Here. I don’t want medicines or anything anymore. I need more pain of freedom.

Wait for me, dear.

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